Marathon training

Wow!!!!! is the only word that comes to my mind when I try to describe marathon training! I think this is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. The training is pushing me mentally and physically in ways that I never imagined! My run last week was awful and I wanted to quit at every mile!! I'm so thankful that I know other people training or I would never do this!! I'm looking forward to what I can push myself to accomplish!! I know that I never imagined myself as a marathon runner! Even now when I look in the mirror I don't see it...one day I will! I may not see it until October 7th but hopefully I will.

I want so bad to be completely content with what I see in the mirror...but I'm not sure what that even looks like?!?! When are we ever truly happy as women with what's staring back at us?!? Are we ever?!? I don't know if I have an answer for that! Who defines perfection and does anyone ever reach that! I try every day to tell myself that healthy is the goal, but to whose healthy definition do I follow? What is enough? What is too much? These are the things I think every day and every time I think about food. People have said I'm obsessed and maybe I am, but when you struggle with your weight and food it a constant thought its always in the forefront of your mind. When I'm consistently logging food not only do I think about it as I eat l, but when I log, and then at the end of the day when I check to see if I over ate or was right on! It's a never ending battle one that I am determined to win, buit is a never ending battle!

I have been fluctuating between 162 and 165 forever it seems!! Time to check my fears, insecurities, and self doubt at the door and do this! I'm tying to remind myself that I'm doing this so me and no one else!! This isn't about the picture in the magazine but about me wanting to be the best me I can!! (wow that sounded like a pathetic pinterest quote!) I'm not sure what the ideal me will look like and I'm not sure what the number on the scale should be , but I know I'm not there yet! I will be one day!!!!

Marathon story and fundraiser

I have been running for about a year and seven months. Running has become a passion of mine! I love it and cannot seem to get enough. About a month ago my cousin approached me and asked if I would be willing to run the Chicago Marathon for a charity. I thought she was a tad crazy because I was not sure if I was ready or not. After some consideration I decided that I was ready and that if I was going to run for a charity, running for one that meant something was the way to go. I am running for my cousin Natalie “Nat”, who has Down syndrome. I am running for a foundation called Research Down Syndrome (RDS).

RDS supports scientific studies directed towards understanding the sources of cognitive difficulties in persons with Down syndrome. RDS believes in the promise of a future where therapies will be available that will help improve memory, learning and communication in persons with Down syndrome. This will lead to increased life opportunities in education, employment, and social interactions.... perhaps a future where persons with Down syndrome might be able to live independently. Please join with the RDS Runners as their miles help RDS fund research that already has made extraordinary progress.

Here is Nat's story- On January 9,2010 the world welcomed Natalie Louise Phillips. She was perfectly healthy and out to prove the doctors wrong. Every time they told us what to expect with her diagnosis of Down Syndrome (poor muscle tone, lack of head control, low stamina, inability to breast feed) she would astound them all with her girl power attitude. She was (and is) the light, in not only my family’s world, but in all who meet her. Everyday I am astounded at the people who come up simply to tell us how they want to meet her. This almost always ends up in them getting a hug and kiss from her. She has opened up many doors for us to speak to people about Down Syndrome in schools and at church. She has a very full schedule of speech, occupational, physical and developmental therapies. She loves to nap by the pool, play in the yard and try on hats. She enjoys using her sign language along with her wonderful speech. Her favorite words are “sissy”, “mommy”, “daddy”, “paw-paw”, “maw-maw”, “cheese”, “potato chip”  (sounds nothing like it) and her newest sign she made up on her own is for “BACON”!! Got to love a girl who loves bacon. We are so very blessed to have the support of all our family, friends and Natalie's therapist. A big thank you to Stephanie for doing this in her honor ...we love you!! We thank everyone for their support.

http://www.crowdrise.com/rdsrunnerschi2012/fundraiser/stephanierogers1 

One huge goal for me....something silly for many

In the beginning when I first started to blog I posted that one of my goals was to be able to wear a pair of jeans from Hollister or Abercrombie.... Well here it is the whole outfit! I know that some will say that is very superficial but when you grow up wearing "fat girl" clothes something like this is huge!! And anyone who knows me, knows that I am a second hand shopper, but not this outfit :-)